Breaking Stubborness


Whew y' all! This is a subject that I have definitely struggled with. A subject matter that I’ve realized that I was running from going through different life experiences. Stubborn. Stubbornness. What is it? What does it look like? How can we overcome it? Break it? Are we this way consciously, unconsciously? Well, ladies, we’re gonna break it down and loose the Spirit.

Stubborn: difficult to manage or suppress. Unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving. Fixed or set in purpose or opinion.

Above is the definition of stubborn. Doesn’t look too appealing, does it? Because it’s not. Stubbornness is one of the devices the enemy uses to keep us from getting to God. To stop us from doing what He has called us to do. It hinders us from being like Jesus and showing Christ-like characteristics. And guess what!? It’s easy to be stubborn, it’s not hard! We may be stubborn in ways that we don’t even realize. You know what I’m talking about ladies. For instance, let’s say you want Red Lobster but your friend wants Olive Garden, you may become fixed in a feeling that is based on opinion and not fact. To us, we know that seafood is the way to go. We will debate our friend down! Say everything to convince them to choose warm cheddar biscuits over warm buttery breadsticks. In the end, we become so stuck in US and what WE want, that we don’t consider our friend. We don’t want to be flexible. Lord don’t let us actually end up at Olive Garden! By the time we get there, we would be battling between having an attitude and being grateful for the food. Why? Because we were focused on what we wanted vs. the beautiful fellowship that God allowed to happen on such a beautiful day. I say all this to say I believe the first steps to breaking stubbornness, is evaluating situations in order to identify the symptoms of stubbornness. First symptom up….

  1. Attitude

Being stubborn automatically doesn’t sit well with our spirits, not just as Christians, but as human beings. When we find ourselves being stubborn 10 times out of 10 there is an attitude attached to it. Maybe you find yourself becoming annoyed, irritated, unsatisfied. Your heart then begins to take on the posture of such traits. There are negative traits and attitude that come with stubbornness. These are not pretty. They are ugly and nasty. We all know the saying “God don’t like ugly”. Next time you find yourself in a situation and it is followed by an attitude or change of heart posture  ask yourself; “Was I being stubborn?” When you recognize what that (being stubborn) looks like for you, you can have better control of it and switch your initial negative attitude into a positive one.

  1. Resistance to Change

Y'all this is a BIG one! This right here is a system I experience frequently, especially on my job. This is a system of stubbornness because it shows that you are a rebel and what to go against the grain and not with it. You rather stay stagnant and not move out of the things YOU are used too. Especially if YOU are not the one making the change. I find that for myself I mainly have this symptom when it is change initiated and requested by someone other than myself. I have a strong resistance to change when I’m not the one who is causing myself to do it. Here is an example: I’m a teacher and I have to document all of my classes.  One day I was asked if I could completely change the format of my documentation. Add more details here and put in the exact dates there. The thing is, I was satisfied with the way I had already been doing it and at the time didn’t see the benefit of changing it just so it could “help somebody else other than me”. Having this attitude and mindset automatically caused me to procrastinate and avoid making changes. I was operating in stubbornness. I didn’t want to do something because somebody else required it of me and not myself. Being fixed in my own benefit and not trying to help benefit others. I wanted things my way, not realizing that if I made the changes things would, in the long run, become easier for me. Fast forward to now, I have since made changes to my format. I realize that my documentation goes quicker, easier, and I have to answer fewer questions about my classes. Which equals LESS STRESS!

  1. Not doing what is REQUIRED.

A HUGE HUGE HUGE symptom of stubbornness. I want to look at this symptom from a spiritual perspective. When you give God a yes to His will and way, you commit yourself to whatever it is He asks of you in the journey. Remember, how you do one thing is how you do everything. So if you are experiencing symptoms 1 and 2, you’re probably going to operate in a little bit of stubbornness in your walk with Christ as well. We all have been there. I know I’m not by myself in this. I understand that there is more God requires of me because I am chosen, yet I can be reluctant or even say no at times when it doesn’t add up with what I think or I want to happen. Like the definition from earlier said, “set in purpose”. Question is, are you set in YOUR purpose or HIS purpose? If the answer is “yours” or even “a little bit of both”, you are operating in a spirit of stubbornness with God. I decree and declare that if you are reading this right now and suffer from, rather it's often or sometimes, that that spirit falls off of you right now in the name of Jesus! Believe that it will. Make strides to being different! Stubbornness is a spirit! It can not be used in the Kingdom of God! How can you learn from leaders, mentors, pastors, and prophets if you are too stubborn to listen and yield to what the Lord has instructed them to share? You can not grow in your walk with Christ and be stubborn at the same time. It just doesn’t work. This is a subject that we tend to not really think about or focus on much. It goes unnoticed because as humans we are selfish and we automatically tend to be fixed in our own ways. Now is the time to declare spiritual warfare and loose the stronghold of stubbornness. If you know that God has said or is requiring something specific from you and you are not doing/operating in it, ask yourself why. If the reason points back to YOU, then stubbornness could possibly be your culprit. If it is because whatever it is doesn’t feel right to “you”. If it’s because it takes “you” out of “your” comfort zone. Anything that points to you and your own will confirms that you are being stubborn with Jesus. How? Because you are being obstinately unmoving. Which, is the definition of stubborn.

The first step is admittance. Admit that at times you operate in stubbornness. When you know the name of the spirit, you can call out the spirit. Prayers are effective through specificity. Then identify your symptoms. Do they point to stubbornness? Make the changes in your attitude, don’t resist those changes, then meet God’s requirements. Decree and declare that stubbornness is broken off of your life! Watch how the walls that once blocked and hindered you from entering into God’s next dimension for your life begin to fall.

Love and Blessings Ladies,

-Jerica Henderson

IG: @iflyinjuly/@_fierceandfavored_

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