Ladies, ladies! Can I ask you a personal question? What’s your ideal type?
Maybe it’s chocolate skin or a lighter complexion. Maybe its someone with a Caribbean island accent, or maybe even British. He could be athletic or just handy. He might be romantic and very in tune or extremely macho. He could be a stand-up guy or maybe you like the one that people disregard because of his street side.
Whatever it is, we tend to have a certain type of man that we are attracted to. Now, what we attract is a whole other situation. But, as we get older, we have to realize we can’t live in a fantasy of our ideal type. Especially if it hasn’t been working for us.
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results” -Albert Einstein
Often, our ideal types are based on looks, financial status, power positions and things that don’t really mean anything in the foundational long run of a relationship. How can we change this? Is it really settling if we happen to change what we desire because we come to reality with what we really want?
For starters, let’s stop worrying so much about the man. What type of ideal woman do you want to be? What do you see yourself doing? What has God purposed you for? What areas of growth do you need in order to be in the type of relationship you really desire? When we focus on who we need to be and getting to business, life has a way of giving us the partner we need. Don’t be so focused in your work that you miss your opportunity. But definitely don’t waste your time thinking about what a man should be for you without figuring out the type of woman you want to be. And don’t do it for future “him”. Do it first and foremost for YOU! Make sure you are happy with who you’re becoming.
Be real. If you like street guys but it’s not working out with them wanting to settle down. You need to reevaluate what’s most important: their principles or their edge? If you are tired of dramatic relationships but all the nice guys you meet are too boring, you have to evaluate that within yourself. When we really take time to embrace who we are, who we are growing into, we will know the right ones that should be in our lives.
In the end, be a boss. Grow, change, adapt and let your desires and ideals grow with you. Don’t hang on to what has not worked for you. See what will and don’t be afraid to actually give it a real chance. You may like it more than you imagined.