Fading Love

Most everyone remembers the video that went viral of the on-stage proposal to Beyoncé’s Dance captain, Ashley Everett


Well, 2 years later and she is no longer in that relationship that was 6 years deep before that famous proposal. She explains more in her interview with Essence


It seems many women have a relationship like Ashley’s even if not that extended. For some reason, it fizzles out and suddenly we wake up to the reality of what it is. My question is: why does it take us so long to figure out that it’s not what we truly want?


Do we make excuses? Are we overlooking things? Are we just not taking enough time to really reflect on what the facts are? How much do you follow your heart and how much do you look at the facts?


Here are a few things we can do to hopefully shred some months or even years off of something that shouldn’t ride on autopilot. 


  1. Where is the relationship going? What are your goals? What are his goals? Collectively what should be achieved? These are things that should be established and heavily weighed out during dating before a committed relationship is even established.
  2. Do you support each other equally? How much do you give? How much does he give? Is there a consistent and constant sacrifice of self on both ends to make the relationship be at its best? Do you each pay attention in order to learn more about the way your significant other operates? Do you care to learn? If you or the other person doesn’t want to continue growing with you and learning in ways to make you or the atmosphere of the relationship better, this could be another sign.
  3. What do you expect out of marriage? What does he expect of marriage? What is the end that both of you have in mind? Similar to the first question, but really pulling out the reality of what you desire from the expected end will tell a lot as well. If he says he doesn’t want to get married or is stalling on moving forward when you feel he should believe him!

At the end of the day, when we are early in our relationship, we have to be intentional about reflecting and evaluating. Many times the issues we break up over later are things we saw initially but created excuses for. It’s time for the excuses to stop and we really take to heart what we need to do in that relationship for a change. Take notice today, put your heart to the side for a moment and really evaluate everything. Pray for discernment and allow God to confirm who should and should not be in your life. Allow Him to lead you in your decisions. Don’t let Mr. Right pass you by because you were entertaining Mr. Wrong past his due date. 


What are some ways you check if a relationship is entering that autopilot mode before it wastes your time? 


Keep your crown up, 


Felicia Morgan

@feliciajomorgan

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