From Generation To Generation
I recently experienced something with my mother that caused me to call my therapist and discuss the matter. We often talk about accountability, and he always informs me that I should speak my truth in a respectful manner. For a long time, my mother and I haven’t had the best relationship. Now that I have moved out of her home and am pregnant with my third child, I’m starting to realize that some people and their behavior will never change. I explained to my therapist that I think I’m waiting on her to show up as someone else, and he quickly told me that I would be deceiving myself if I didn’t accept her and how she truly is as reality. I thought about that and decided to hold myself accountable with her and change the way that I deal with her.
A lot of the behaviors and actions I have adopted came from my mother. I learned a lot of behaviors from her because I thought that’s what I had to do. Living with my mom wasn’t easy, and I picked some of her habits along the way. This is something that bothers me because as a mother I want to be the best and set the greatest example I can for my girls. I do not want them to experience the same traumas I did for years and they end up in counseling because they never healed from the things of their childhood. My therapist explained to me that it’s very important to work on healing myself, so that my hurt doesn’t spill over to my children. I want to change and most of all I want to be healed from things that have hurt me over the years. You must hold yourself and others accountable to heal and sustain healthy relationships.
There are several books on raising kids from when they are newborn to toddlers. But once they are old enough to voice their opinion, there is no manual that comes with that. Kids can be a challenge, but we have to remember that children do not deserve to have our bad habits spilled onto them. In the bible, Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. To me that scripture plainly tells us that we should show our children all the things they need while they are young, so when they become of age they will apply those lessons to their life.
Women Who Boss Contributor