How Do You Love Yourself
I have been on this up and down roller coaster ride with myself for quite some time. One minute I am happy and satisfied, the next I am unsatisfied and confused. (I’m sure many of you can relate!) I am a woman that knows what she wants, but sometimes I feel like I am settling for less than what I deserve. Lately, I have been hearing women say, “Love yourself’ and “Put you first”, but the funny thing about that to me is they never really explain the process of how to successfully do those things.
When I was a child, I was not shown the proper love and affection from a woman or a man, so I honestly do not know how to love myself the correct way or accept it from others when it is presented to me. I struggle with showing myself love and expressing it to others. When someone tells me they love me, I second guess it because of the things I have been through in the past.
When I was younger, I thought sex meant that a person loved me. I did not understand the true meaning of love or loyalty, so I allowed myself to go through and experience a lot of things because what I accepted felt right. I could not go to my mother and ask for relationship advice because she did not know how to love or show love either. I could not ask my father because he was not always around and in and out of different relationships with different women. I was left to asking friends and relatives for advice, some of whom were in relationships and marriages that have lasted as long as I have been alive. But none of it solidified what was missing in my life. Now, here I am at 24 years young, and I still do not know how to properly love myself.
There are times when I look in the mirror and I do not know who I see. There are times when all I see reflected is the mistakes from my past. Other times I look in the mirror and I smile at what I see, but that is only when I am feeling good about myself. Love is not a strong desire for something. It is deeper than that from the books I have read and testimonies I have heard. How do I take the real meaning of love; you know, the deep, unconditional, unchanging love, and turn it towards myself and the people in my life? How can I stop beating myself up about the things I have done, so that I can finally experience the epitome of what pure love feels like?
Bosses, what are some of the ways you show yourself love? Do you believe that despite what you have been through that there is a rainbow on the other side of the storm? Have you loved something or someone more than you loved yourself, and if so, how did you redirect your thought and focus on yourself and your life? What self-care advice would you like to share or what encouraging words could you spare if someone were to ask you how do you properly love yourself?
Women Who Boss Contributor