I have always been the type to live in a fairytale. That being said, growing up Valentine's Day was lit! My friends would always give me candy. My dad always got me the best roses, chocolates, and stuffed animals. Everyone loved me and I loved everyone. It was great! Then I got older. My fairytale swiftly came to an end.


For some reason, every year around this time, I began to only get gifts because maybe I got upset about what someone did so they decided to make it up on Valentine’s Day. I remember one time in college I was super excited because it was like the first time I was talking to someone during the Valentine’s Day season. I thought “Yes, I’ll finally get something!!” Turns out he tried to avoid me on Valentine’s Day and go to a basketball game instead! I don’t remember if he actually had to play or coach. However, I knew he had said he wasn’t going to do or get me anything. Our mutual friends shared with him that I felt some type of way and that’s what made him actually go out and buy me gifts. They were cute, but guess where our relationship ended up? Nowhere! It was not long after Valentine’s Day that we lost all communication.


The next time I would have a Valentine would be February of 2017. This time I was actually in a relationship. It was long distance. I was away at college in Columbia, Missouri and he was in Chicago. We had been planning on him coming down for Valentine’s Day for at least a week or so. At the last minute he canceled and said he had a “business meeting” that weekend. We were already in a rocky place in our relationship where I didn’t think he made me a priority. Especially since we were in two seperate places. So ladies, I decided to break up with him. It was this decision that caused him to feel bad and drive 6 hrs to come be with me for Valentine’s Day weekend. So once again, someone showed up with gifts out of circumstance and not out of the goodness of their heart. Do you see the pattern? Oh, and guess what, there’s more to the pattern. We got back together that weekend, and the next weekend after HE broke up with ME!


As you can see my past experiences with Valentine’s Day started with hurt, then gifts, then breakup. I realized that gifts on Valentine’s Day cannot change the issues at hand within the relationship. Since then I don’t really have any real expectation concerning this day. After such experiences and growing older in age, I realized not everyone was going to make this day special for me like my daddy. That one day could not determine if someone actually loved me or not.


Today, everyone seems to be doing the same thing for Valentine’s Day. I mean I must admit, it would be nice to have someone go out their way to make one day super special for me. To get me roses and chocolates and strawberries! But hey, I honestly want those things everyday! I say this to say, everyone is doing the same thing nowadays. Booking hotel rooms, drawing bubble baths, and petals trailing all the way to some special surprise. Doesn’t that get old? I think at this point Valentine’s Day will be more special if everyone wasn’t planning the same surprises. But hey, maybe that’s just me! I expect for my IG and Twitter accounts to be filled with cute and fluffy oversized teddy bears. I expect for facebook to be filled with sappy love letters to significant others. However, when this one day is over, will you still feel the same about that person? Or will the problems that you had before you tried to cover it up with the “Valentine’s Day” blanket still be there?


Hey, I know it’s different for everybody. I know some people are genuinely happy and just use this day to express their love on another level. Although, I think Valentine’s Day should be everyday and you shouldn’t just go the extra mile on one day for the one you love. Show them everyday!


Ladies, I’m learning that at the end of the day can’t nobody love me more than myself and Jesus. So this Valentine’s Day I’m loving on and pampering myself! But hey, shouldn’t I do that everyday?


Drop a comment and let me know your expectations on Valentine’s Day and how they may have changed over the years.


Love and Blessings Ladies,

-Jerica Henderson

IG: @iflyinjuly/@_fierceandfavored_

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