Selfless, Not Self Less

The Bible tells us this, “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself,” Galatians 5:14, (KJV). Most of us place the needs of others far above the needs for ourselves. We get consumed in making sure that others are taken care of all to the hustle and bustle that life throws our way. But what about you? Who is taking care of you and looking after you while you have so valiantly placed on your heroes cape to rescue everyone in the world all while keeping a smile on your face; knowing that deep down you are screaming for help; that you may be broken, bruised and exhausted from what life has thrown your way. How many of us have experienced helping others at the detriment to ourselves? When you’ve had someone just completely suck the life out of you. They drain you of not just your resources and time, but your energy and ability to focus on yourself.


Being selfless is an act of devotion, not slavery. In Philippians 2, verse 4 it states, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others (KJV). We are to be considerate, compassionate and charitable with our time, space, energy and feelings with those around us to help them help themselves. We are to edify and help build and at the same time we must protect ourselves against anything that would expect us to place ourselves in last place. Being selfless means that you are being a dutiful supporter of someone. Being selfless does not mean that you are at someone’s beck and call. It doesn’t mean that you forget to care for yourself to make someone else feel secure, encouraged, strengthened or even satisfied with their lives; with that you are able to take time to yourself and make sure that you are not pouring from an empty glass.


With each and every waking moment that God allows us to experience here in the earth cannot be spent neglecting ourselves to make others feel comfortable with who they are as individuals. It’s okay to be concerned with the needs of others, but it is not your job to save them, that’s for Jesus, if they so believe on Him. Being selfless is a seed that must be properly cultivated and harvested or it can turn into bitter fruit. Here are some things that can help you avoid being burned out when people need your help or support.


  • Make sure that you and the other persons involved go into the situation with a clear understanding of your role.

  • Take time to gather your thoughts before you commit to putting your time into someone else. If you are not at 100%, then you shouldn’t commit to someone else’s problems.

  • Do a heart check. How will you be able to properly help someone navigate out of their situation if you aren’t properly invested in what’s going on.

  • Be able to make clear and concise decisions and stick to them.

  • Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! How does anyone know that you are tired or frustrated or feel a way about something if you don’t open up your mouth and speak? Closed mouths don’t get fed.

  • Let your yes be yes and your no’s, no. Sometimes there is no need to go into detail about why you are saying yes or no to a situation. If you know in your heart that you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it and if you do, then do it without complaint. Don’t lead people on.

  • Be consistent.


“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 (KJV). Loving yourself just as much as you love your neighbor is important and a command from God, but He doesn’t expect us to neglect ourselves in the process of loving and caring for others. Putting yourself first sometimes is a must. There are so many levels and people that you haven’t even touched yet that are waiting for you and when you get to those things and people, you have to be the best version of you to finish the race. So don’t ever feel guilty that you need YOU time to get your heart and mind right before you put yourself out there to help others. Take that personal time to reflect and grow.




Etosha Bahaiddin


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