Single but Unavailable


Ladies, what do you do when a guy is adamant about getting an answer to your disinterest? Why does a simple ‘no’ have to be followed by a barrage of questions?

Sometimes, I mean a lot of times, if not all the time, our yeses mean yes and our no’s mean no. An investigation into why could end up hurting you.

I don’t always want to lie and say “I have a boyfriend”. So I’ve learned to be confident in my answer and say a simple, “no thank you”. Unless of course they just seem a little crazy and I need an emergency escape route.

But, a lot of times I find my no just raises more questions:

“Well, I don’t see a ring on your finger. Are you married? Are you seeing someone? Are you gay? Is it me? Am I ugly?”

No, no, no, no and a 50/50 chance to the last one, but really no.

“Did you have a bad break up? How long have you been single? Are you still that hurt?”

No, long enough, NO!

In the words of Heather Lindsay, “just because I’m single, doesn’t mean I’m available!”

I personally made a decision that I would stop dating for a while, just to focus on me for a change. I’m a supportive person and sometimes I put others first to the point I lose myself. And in relationships, I’m just unfound. Who said singleness had to be a result from a bad break up? I decided I needed me. Nothing bad on the last person’s part. I needed time to put my eyes back on God wholeheartedly, no distractions.

And with this quality time with God, I know when I do start dating again that it will be right because that person will push me closer to God. And of course, I’m going to God about him anyhow, so he better come correct.

Sometimes singleness isn’t about saving ourselves from hurt. Sometimes we’re good, but we just know that we could be better.

You feel me, bosses? Or am I the only one? Let me know about a season of intentional singleness you experienced. What did you learn?

Keep your crown up,

Felicia Morgan


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