I love love. I appreciate the aspects of love that you can see when a couple is together that is so much more than public displays of affection. Or how spouses grow closer over time to the point that they are each other’s family. I haven’t been married long, but I’ve been observing marriages around me my whole life. When my husband and I got engaged a few years before we got married, advice came our way from all types of folks: married, unmarried, remarried, and divorced. Here are a few of my favorite tips for a long-lasting marriage:
Praying together is as important as praying for each other. Life can get hectic but taking this time to humble yourselves before God as a unit affords you a weapon that accomplishes more than any brute force or forged iron could.
Speaking of being humble, your marriage is the last place for pride! Ask for what you need because it’s the easiest path to getting the things you want and need from your spouse.
The Golden Rule
No matter how old we get, this particular rule always holds true, but in marriage, it’s a bit different. Men and women are different creatures with different wants, needs, and desires, so as a pair, we have to be sensitive to each other’s quirks and inclinations. Love languages are a real thing and being aware of your spouse’s preferred method of being loved is helpful.
Be accountable for your part in any given situation. There are few times that you are blameless, so being able to take responsibility for what you’ve said and done will carry you far in marriage.
Nix the Scorecard
There are no winners in arguments so forget about trying to keep score. Hear each other out and say what you mean, especially in heated moments. If you truly view your partner as a teammate, you’ll choose your words and actions carefully because that is an integral part of being an ally.
It can be challenging to patch up a disagreement before bed, but it can be even more difficult to sleep when you’re upset with your mate. Instead of stewing over something that has you worked up, think about the cause. If it’s something that your mate can help or change, let them know! Sometimes the other person has no idea until you talk to them about it.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of long-lasting marriage tips, but rather a few of my favorites from over the years. If you’re married, what are some of the rules that have helped you stick with your mate? If you’re not married, what are some practices that you wish to emulate once you do settle down?
Until next time Bosses,
Stay Peacefully Positive.
Jeannelle “Jean” Lundy