Have you seen the video clip floating around from the old sitcom “A Different World” where Dwayne snaps at Whitley after he says he wants to work it out? There’s a caption that reads “Talk to me like this (just don’t snap at me) but I cannot wait to be submissive to my husband.”
It began a slew of opinions. Many women liked the idea of the man speaking so firmly and in agreement with Whitley running off to work it out with him. But the other half said they got lost at the word “submissive” in the caption. So, what’s wrong with the word submissive?
- ready to conform to the authority or will of others
Maybe I’m biased. I was fortunate to have my dad and a few other examples of men taking responsibility in leading the women of their household and the women following that lead. Where did this negative connotation of the word submissive derive from? The absence of dads in family homes? The rise of independent women?
I don’t know the exact reason, but let’s take a look at some of our favorite celebrity couples: Jay-Z and Beyonce’, Barack and Michelle Obama, Stephen and Ayesha Curry, Russell and Ciara Wilson.
Each one of these women is strong on their own. Great career, great personality, relatable, and yet, we see them follow the lead of their husband and they do it cheerfully. So, how can they be goals if we refuse a key ingredient?
Men were made to lead the household. That does NOT mean a woman cannot lead alongside him. It also does NOT mean to let him manipulate and walk all over you. Stand up for yourself. But, at certain points in time, a woman has to trust the man to have the family’s best interest in mind with some of the decisions. If there is no peace, obviously God gave you a mouth to speak up, but we do have to know how to follow his lead.
Every man is not worth following, I get that. But, especially if you choose him as a husband, that means you have some level of respect and expectation for him to lead your family. Bottom line, when a man truly respects the woman, truly loves her and serves her, when he is guided by the Holy Spirit and not his own personal desires, he is a man worth submitting to. When a man has submitted to God first, you can trust yourself to then be submitted to him. But, that’s also why you need your own relationship with God to help him because he still isn’t going to be perfect. Man and woman were created to be partners. And, if you’re constantly fighting to be the head of the relationship, it will become idle.
What are your thoughts on being submissive in a relationship bosses? Is submission good or bad?
Keep your crown up,